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November 02, 2006

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Comments

Luz Penarete

The perspective that your group took to write this essay was unique and refreshing in that you actually took the post title “We the Jury” literally and wrote as though you all were the jury. One simple detail that your group left out, however, was your thesis statement. Grammar was also another area for improvement because there was at times run on sentences and “a” in the sentence, “…Clara did not seem to have…a understanding…”, should have been “an”. Although you had a great addition of quotes that added to the effectiveness of your paper they at times were a bit too much. Paraphrasing some quotes would have maintained the effectiveness while adding a bit more variety in your paper.

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